Season of Hunger's Journal

9:36am: 274.4
I'm getting bad about updating this again.

Had a slight set-back due to feeling icky and a birthday party.

Here's how the last week went down.

14 270.4
15 270.4
16 271.8
17 270.8
18 270.2
19 270.2
20 274.4
21 273.4
22 272.4
23 275


Up and down she goes...

9:06am: 270.4
9th
273

10th
270.2

11th
272.6

12th
269.6

2:13pm: 269.4
Wednesday was 274.8 thursday 273.4 and I forgot to write down yesterday... it was probably 273.4 too...  but hey!  I'm below 270 yay!

10:20am: 272.6
Yesterday was 272.  I did cheat a few times yesterday, mostly sugar that I could have avoided.  I really want to get below 270 this week.

Blargh.

11:59am: 275
Losing weight is such a psychological battle.  Fighting the present to benefit the future.  A bad day can really set you back for a few days at  a time.

1:47pm: 276.4
Yesterday it was 274 but I went to a party and indulged.  I am aware of when I violate my desires but indulging in my desires.  The strength of the unseen is forgotten when I view what is before me.  I must turn my gaze inward to shield my eyes from the temptations and momentary distractions if I seek to reach a lasting goal.

9:07am: 272.0
Don't know if I posted yesterday 274.4.  Ugh dance aerobics at the club at the one day a week I have to leave for work a half hour early is pretty silly...

1:03pm: 275.8
I don't know the science behind this, but it's happen to me more than once.  I'll wake up and weigh.  Then I'll go have a crap and I'll weigh myself again and the weight will be exactly the same before and after.  The only thing I can think of this time is that I did drink a little water in between, but I don't see that the water would weigh the same as the eluvia that I expelled.

12:58pm: 277
I don't even want to talk about it.  I know what I did wrong, I'll try to avoid that pitfall in the future.  The soul is willing but the flesh is weak etc. etc.

1:08pm: 272.4
Was 272.4 as well yesterday.  IE is pissing  me off, but not enough to log in and out of LJ every day just to post in this journal.

10:18am: 274.2
It was 274.2 yesterday too, and 276.8 on Friday.  Was at my mom's for the weekend.  Did not have access to a scale.

1:04pm: 278.6
Not entirely sure why I jumped back up.  Might have something to do with the fact that we ran out of water in the water coolers in the office and I had to go back to drinking soda yesterday.

Very frustrating.... oi!  I just realized I left a frozen bottle of water on one of my tables at home... it's gonna get condensation all of the place, ewww...

Anyway, maybe this'll be easier if I don't think of it as being on a diet, but as changing my eating behavior.  A lifestyle change is more likely to have lasting results than the yo-yo ride I've been on since I started this journal...

11:07am: 275.6
And the roller-coaster dips up again. 

Admittedly I did eat late last night before a movie and haven't really BM'd yet, so the accuracy of the above number may change.  We'll see tomorrow.  If it doesn't go back down I'll blame the grits.

12:12pm: 273.6
It was 274.4 until I used the WC... 

1:24pm: 274.4
full speed ahead.

8:46am: 274.4
So many factors during the day.  It's hard to keep focused on the goal for long periods of time.  I don't want to give up this time.

8:13pm: 275
When I first woke up it was 277 till I had a slightly unhappy BM and got naked on the scale.

This was before I ate, I shudder to look now.

Ah well, dieting is the over consciousness of ones own decline and obsession with size.

Or some such.  No use getting philiosophical about it...

10:40am: 276
I'm going to cheat once a week.  Probably.  My weight loss last year taught me that if I'm too strict I get bored and when I stop entirely I over indulge.  So I'm going to try to keep everything in a general downward motion but cheat here and there.  Yesterday was a dominoes bread bowl.  It was ok, not amazing, I'll try to save my next cheat for something actually really tasty.

9:19am: 275
My scale does give me the . numba.  Maybe I should start posting if it's 275.6 or 275.2 or whatever....

9:24am: 275
I know it's not good to weigh yourself every day due to the fluctuations of water weight.  But I think this time I'm gonna try to keep a complete log of the ups and downs.  Maybe make a chart of it later.... mmm pie chart.

8:42am: 277
The thing that was really annoying about Atkins last time I did it, was how irregular it made me.   I've struggled with intestinal problems since I was 16.  I wish losing weight didn't depend on the bowels so much.

11:40am: 282
New high.  I blame alcohol and water weight.  Should subside back down after the rising tide of this weekend.

Being this heavy feels awful.  Now that I started weighing myself again I'm aware of the weight in a way I wasn't before.  It's going to force me to make some decisions for the better.

4:00pm: 278
July 4th means bbq. 

I went from 280 down to 230 on Atkins last year.  And then I went broke and regained it all eating cheap shitty food.  I'm still broke, so I'm gonna have to lose the weight by force of will.

2:52pm: Starting over.
280

7:34pm: 250.  That's -30 from January.  Diet is going well, I don't seem to be suffering any of the medical horrors my friends have been warning of, and I'm slowly but steadily loosing.  I'm out of the induction phase so technically I can increase the ammount of carbs I eat by 5g a day, but I think I'll just stay pretty strict for now, at least until I lose a bit more.  Been taking lots of vitamins, feel good about that, although I should probably be getting more sleep.  Ah well, can't have everything right?